Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
