Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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