I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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