i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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