Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
