That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
