All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I want her autograph on my taint
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
