I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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