What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
