We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
