I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
sick fucks of a feather flock together
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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