If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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