Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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