We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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