He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
