Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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