I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
