She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
there is glitter all over my balls
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
