It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
