it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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