Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
