You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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