...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
