its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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