i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
