babies were throwing up all over the place
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
only if we run a train.
done.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
