Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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