every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
