brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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