Moan for me like Helen Keller
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
