SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
my liver is dry heaving
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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