It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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