she woke up with a sticky ear
high people should be assigned attendants
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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