New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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