Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
