I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
