you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
