what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
