you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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