Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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