i just google imaged poop.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
