talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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