when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im holly from the hills drunk
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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