i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
