i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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