drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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