video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
try to milk me bitch
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize