Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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