Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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