sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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