...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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