I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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