and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
