some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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