Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
