When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
