i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
