I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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