Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize