Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
