so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
