a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
