No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
