he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
