Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
