You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
