i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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