end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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