I wanna passion pit in your ass
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
