what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize