You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
