hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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