am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
