The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
