Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
