I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
