i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Randomize
