we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
